Life as a Modern Warrior Monk

   

Surrounded by lush greenery and singing birds, I tie my belt and sink into a horse stance. I feel roots growing out of my feet into the earth, a forested mountain vibrating with life behind me, the ocean unfolding its vastness before me. I savor the sound of my sword unsheathing, the metallic ring sparking a fire in my heart. The practice of martial arts consumes my being, the only focus of my awareness for the next hour. At the end of practice, I feel relaxed, fluid, joyful, and alive. I meditate, and proceed with my day in a land of beauty.

Nope, I’m not describing the opening to a Hollywood movie. This is my typical Tuesday! And I’d like to share a couple stories of how I arrived here and hopefully inspire someone reading this that may feel like there is a magic in their soul waiting to be awakened.

The journey begins

It begins in San Francisco. I was young, confused, broke, and filled with doubt and fear about life. I knew a couple things: I liked martial arts, I wanted to learn computer programming, and I liked to meditate. Somehow, like magic, I found a meditation school where all of these practices were a core part of the curriculum. It was led by Samvara, a spiritual teacher and Buddhist monk in a modern lineage.

I used to watch beautiful martial arts movies in rural settings and wonder what I was doing in this concrete jungle rat race. I felt so out of place. Internally, I yearned to be on a mountain meditating and doing martial arts. When I found this sangha, it suddenly felt like the life I dreamed of was actually possible. It opened that world, right smack in the middle of San Francisco (we had to drive a little to get to the mountain we meditated on :)).

Samvara taught me that hard work can transform your life, and it was true! And hard! I was training in martial arts multiple days a week, studying computer programming in all my free time, and for a couple years I was that boring friend who never went out to the bar because I was studying or training. At the time, it was really what I needed. I had no career or money and I knew I had to establish this to get the life I wanted.

Keep in mind, I was a ‘hippie’. I didn’t care about money, or fancy things, all I wanted to do was enjoy life, meditate, be in nature, and do yoga and martial arts. In this sangha, they encouraged me to look at the finer things in life and go for it! At first, I was resistant, but I had to acknowledge that yes, I was stressed out because I was broke, and yes, I need a career to be able to afford yoga classes and eventually teacher training. And yes, it would be nice to travel to beautiful places and meditate and explore. So, I accepted it, because the motivation behind it all was spiritual abundance.

The miracle of it all was that the foundation of everything we did was meditation. Martial arts became a meditation on cultivating peace and discipline. Career was a meditation on developing power, and focus of mind. Abundance was a practice of cultivating energy to put into your spiritual practice and supporting others. Daily meditation was a practice of quiet and balance. These practices slowly changed my being, and I felt that I was returning to a natural state, free of fears, doubts, and anxiety.

There are a multitude of adventures and experiences I could share, but today I want to talk about two particular practices and how they transformed my life: martial arts, and career.

Martial arts

I trained in martial arts for years with dedication, until the time came that I was ready for a blackbelt test, and this is the story of that test.

The first time I took my black belt test, I failed. However, as Bruce Lee once said: “defeat is a state of mind”. I took this to heart, and understood the experience as a teaching, exposing everything in my mind that held me back. I looked carefully at my attachments, fear, beliefs, and focus. At our dojo, you get your blackbelt by beating a blackbelt from another school in a sparring match, so this puts all the inner workings of your mind to the test. Samvara taught us:

“Yogis seek the perfection of the work itself rather than the fruit of their labors”.

 From that moment on, I knew that if I always tried my best with all my heart, failure would never be an option. There was no way that I wouldn’t win. Even if I never ‘made it’, the qualities discovered in the effort of reaching the goal are the true treasure. The state of mind cultivated by giving your all is the greatest gift, regardless of the outcome.

I have had experiences in my life of feeling afraid, overpowered, and unsure. I acknowledged these feelings and persisted. I realized that success is a choice. Excuses, doubt, or fear may arise in your mind at any time, but choosing whether or not to bow to them is within your control. I chose not to bow. I kept in mind Samvara’s words:

“True courage is not the absence of fear, it’s having fear and persisting”.

 The day of the next test, it was clear in my mind that whether or not I passed, the peace of mind, determination, and focus I had cultivated in my practice was the true gift. Practicing martial arts with all my heart had dissolved fears, doubts, and suffering that once plagued me.

As I stepped on the mat, I felt stillness, and almost surprisingly, love. I loved the school, this opportunity, my teacher, my opponents, and myself. I had no fear, doubt, or even attachment. This was the true victory — the victory over my own mind and suffering. Through following the teachings of Dharma, personal power, martial arts, and meditation, I became a blackbelt that day. And really, it was only the beginning.

Career

Developing my career brought to the surface one of my deepest challenges: a conditioned feeling of low self-worth. This was one of the most difficult things I’ve overcome in my life, which made it the one of the most powerful and liberating transformations.

I spent years struggling with anxiety and depression, debt, and feeling like things would never work out. At first, I resisted the teachings to pursue a life of abundance. Slowly, I realized my resistance came from a deep negative thought pattern: I didn’t believe I was worth it, and I didn’t believe I was capable. After some time, I accepted it, but only with the intention to pursue abundance so I could alleviate my suffering and the suffering of others. After that acceptance, with hard work and dedication, my life transformed.

After studying computer programming with dedication, I got a job. It was a good job, at a big company! I was very happy at my rate, although I knew that it was actually just an ‘OK’ rate as programming jobs go. Right when I started to feel comfortable, Samvara gave me another teaching. This is what spiritual teachers do — they don’t settle, and they always want the best for you. One day he told me: ‘Double your rate’.

My first reaction was — I was mortified! Then, as I absorbed his message, I felt deep care and warmth in his words. The words were secondary to the feeling of support I felt, like a best friend cheering you on. I felt that he believed in me, and was encouraging me to accept what I deserved.

At this time, my martial arts practice was skyrocketing, and I saw this challenge as another sparring match, a situation where I felt intensity and fear, but through my meditation, found peace of mind and approached it with equanimity. I got multiple job offers, negotiated them against each other, and bam, in a couple weeks time, I more than doubled my rate. I never, ever would have done that if I was left to my own devices. I was pretty convinced that I was worth a mediocre rate, but my teacher told me otherwise, and with a leap of faith, I believed him. I realized the essence of his teaching: ‘You’re worth it’.

Lessons learned

You’re worth it! Did you know that? Sometimes it’s not so easy to believe it, so that’s what spiritual teachers are here for. They’re here to show you what you may not want to accept. And that empowerment is now a part of me. Today, I don’t need any validation from anyone. I know my power and worth. I love living and being, and I dedicate myself to teaching martial arts, career development, and meditation to show others the same in themselves. And due to my pursuit of career and abundance, I have the privilege to volunteer all this for free.

I speak of Samvara, but the teachings of Buddhism and the Dharma awakened the power within me. It wasn’t bestowed on me, because it was always there, I just forgot and couldn’t see it. One of the most powerful teachings on this was when Samvara told me: ‘You’re smart, and you’re powerful, you’re just getting in your own way’.

In a way, I didn’t gain anything through these practices, in fact, I lost something. I lost myself. I lost the part of myself with limitation, fear, and doubt. When the heaviness of self is gone, only your pure spirit exists in all its potential.

Now, I don’t see any difference in the divine nature between myself, Samvara, and the sangha. All I see is a flow of truth, and a sharing of clarity. The same Buddha nature exists within me, my teacher, and every person in my community and the world. It’s like water crystallizing into different forms, yet at a fundamental level, it is all the same substance. I realized that teaching spirituality is really just recognizing the Buddha nature in others. It’s your Buddha nature seeing another’s and saying: ‘Hi Buddha, this is Buddha speaking! :) I recognize you! Here’s a friendly reminder — you are infinitely powerful and divine!’.

Warrior Monk Life

As a computer programmer, I can work wherever I want! I have an amazing job at one of the largest tech companies in the world, and I am fortunate to have fulfilled my dream to live in a beautiful place in nature. I get to practice martial arts and meditate every day, with the birds waking me in the morning with beautiful songs and the pitter patter of rain lulling me to sleep.

The teachings of the Dharma empowered me to create this life, the life I wistfully dreamed as a fantasy. It’s real. I had to let go of my limiting beliefs, my resistance to abundance, my perception of who I was and what I was capable of, but once I did, life became magic, and limitless. If I can reach one person out there who may be waiting for that moment of magic in their life, feeling fear or doubt, or stuck in a limited definition of self, please trust me. Life can transform. You are worth it. You can create the life you want. You don’t have to choose the same path as me, but here are my recommendations from my experience.

Meditation | Peace
There are many different styles of meditation. Do your research and find what works best for you.

Martial arts | Power
I especially recommend martial arts for women. It’s incredibly empowering. Kenpo or Shotokan karate is a great style to start with.

Computer programming | Focus
This is a career that is fun, engaging, and flexible. It’s in high demand, and keeps your mind sharp.

Career | Lifestyle
Whatever it is you do, go for it. Get that promotion. Get that higher salary. You’re worth it, and you deserve the life you want.

Awaken your magic!

Take these suggestions and see what works for you. These are just tools to see one of the most important spiritual truths: there is a way out of the suffering of the mind. You can be free of the patterns of mind that hold you back. There is a perfect, beautiful, infinite expression of spirit within you and you have the power to create a life of joy and meaning you’ve dreamed of in your heart.

Be well, and awaken your magic, dear Buddha!